WHAT'S YOUR STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN?
The willingness to climb is everything.
The AirBnB description of the place had noted there were 122 steps to climb to get to the apartment, but somehow the reality of that didn’t sink in until I was standing on the ground floor peering upward and wondering how I was going to haul my tired ass all the way to the top.
There I was with my guy, who had orchestrated this entire trip to Spain we did a couple weeks ago. First stop, Barcelona for a couple of days, and then a couple days in the coastal town of Sitges. Months ago, Chris had found us a great deal on roundtrip tickets to Spain, so we snagged them. After the tickets were booked, he’d been the one to research and plot out our journey. That’s become the way we typically travel, which is most definitely not predictable, given my penchant for research.
Okay, let’s tell the truth here. It’s also not predictable given my taste for control. (Yikes, did I type that out loud?) ๐
LET’S JUST SAY IT’S TAKEN SOME GROWTH ON MY PART TO GET TO THE PLACE WHERE I’M ABLE TO RELINQUISH THE REINS AND GIVE THEM OVER TO SOMEONE ELSE. EVEN WHEN THAT’S WHAT I SAY I WANT.
It’s taken me a good chunk of my life to fully get and embrace the fact that part of what I want in a romantic relationship and partnership is to experience being taken care of.
And to be with someone who is able to provide that while at the same time holding me as an equal, and indeed as a powerful, strong woman.
It’s so interesting, though, isn’t it, how we can be served exactly the dish we ordered and not always recognize it as that? Or how we sometimes quibble about the fact that it doesn’t look exactly as we’d imagined…and overlook the unique artistry this chef brought to his creation that we couldn’t have known to ask for in this exact form?
One thing that has helped me immensely is understanding that some of my knee-jerk responses to life are truly hard wired—that our brains turn uncertainty into fear, for example, making any situation we can’t totally predict into a potential threat as far as our grey matter is concerned.
When I was being trained in neurotransformational coaching, I had a huge aha moment when we got to the part about the seven levels of personal, group and organizational effectiveness. Without diving all the way down that fascinating rabbit hole, I’ll just say here that we’re talking a spectrum of energy bandwidths with their associated feelings and ways of being. And how we respond to any given situation or person is shaped in large part by which level we’re occupying at the time.
How does that relate to the twisting staircase in that 19th century tower in Barcelona? Well, I could have been stuck in the “below the line” energy of irritability (hangry, anyone?) or the fleeting annoyance at this reminder that I’m the older half of this couple.
I will say that about halfway up those 122 steps, I became more aware of my knees than I’ve been for a while. At the same time, I was totally, absolutely enchanted.
That’s the beauty of how we humans are wired. And how the universe works. The higher the energy level—when you get up there in the territory of courage, engagement, innovation and synchronicity—the feelings and thoughts coming from frustration, fear or even hopelessness are able to peacefully (quietly) coexist and not try to run the show.
IN OTHER WORDS, YOU’RE ABLE TO HAVE A THOUGHT ALONG THE LINES OF “HOLY SHIT, I HOPE MY LEFT KNEE DOESN’T DO SOMETHING FUNKY,” AND A SEC LATER EMBRACE THE ROMANCE AND MAGIC OF DISCOVERING YOUR SECRET HIDEAWAY SPOT OVERLOOKING GOTHIC BARCELONA.
And an amazing spot it was. Chris has a talent for finding the boho-charm-on-steroids kinds of places that make my heart flutter, and this was no exception. (Beyond the heart-pumping experience of the stairs, I mean.) The small apartment took up the whole top floor of the tower, and our private terrace, with its astroturf and tangle of potted plants, gave us a 360 view of the city. Best of all was the sleeping quarters, a freestanding stone structure off the terrace.
One of my favorite moments of our entire trip was lying alone in that bed, looking past my feet and the french doors to the terrace beyond. The potted olive tree is waving in the breeze, the bells of the nearby cathedral are ringing, and I can hear Chris in the kitchen, where he’s cutting up the sausage and cheese we bought at the market.
There it was, adventure, magic and beauty all wrapped up in a rustic bow.
You know what, though? I had to give up some things to get the goodies.
I had to give up needing to know what the outcome would look like. I had to give up managing things. I had to give up protecting myself against disappointment. (As if we can, anyway, right?)
AND WHAT THERE WAS TO EMBRACE WAS TRUST:
TRUST IN THIS KIND AND LOVING MAN, WHO HAS THOUGHTFULLY CURATED AN ENTIRE EXPERIENCE FOR ME.
TRUST IN MYSELF TO EMBRACE IT AND FULLY SINK INTO THE MOMENT.
TRUST IN THE UNIVERSE TO KEEP THE FLOW OF GOODNESS COMING.
The highest energy level, synchronicity, is characterized by working from a true understanding that what is within creates what is outside. When you cultivate the ability to see the gift and possibility in anything—even for a short period of time—you are in the synchronicity bandwidth, the realm of “magical coincidence,” as my smart friends and mentors at BEabove Leadership explain.
And trust me, a little magical coincidence can be just what the doctor ordered. After all, a trip abroad, even with your beloved, is not an automatic ticket to nirvana. Can’t we all think of occasions where our or someone else's mood or energy tanked the moment?
It makes a huge difference to be aware of what energy level you’re “coming from” and be able to—no kidding—vibe up in the moment.
This also served as a gentle reminder to me that what might look like a daunting, difficult bunch of steps to tackle might actually be a stairway to heaven, if only you give it a chance.
Chris unlocking the teeny tiny door at the top of the stairs…122 steps, to be exact. What was on the other side? Heaven!
After all, a painter has to give up some control—and start getting into the paint—in order to discover what wants to happen on that canvas.
An explorer can't know what's around the next corner or behind that door—until he or she goes and finds out.
And I would not have had that same delicious experience at the top of our Spanish tower had I not surrendered some control and allowed someone to create his own way to delight.
Plus I had to climb those stairs, let’s not forget.
THE WILLINGNESS TO STEP INTO (OR CLIMB MANY STEPS TO) THE UNKNOWN—THAT’S WHERE POSSIBILITY LIVES.
And that, my friend, is where I’m committed to going every chance I get.
๐งก
I’m curious…where in your life is there some daunting prospect that just maybe could be a stairway to heaven for YOU if you were to get past your own barriers and just start to climb?
I’d love to hear where you’ve done this in the past…or where you see what there is to do now is just start climbing. What’s your stairway to heaven?? Please do leave a comment below and share with the rest of us.
Oh, and one more thing: If you’re interested in learning how to vibe up in the moment and have those “above the line” and “below the line” energies play nicely together, that’s a big part of what I do. Check out my Soul Spa service, or some of my other services for individuals. Drop me a line and let me know you’re curious, and we’ll chat. ๐
With love and moxie,
Deb
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